So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
