Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
