Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
