Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
