used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish you could order shots online.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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