I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize