so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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