Its about making memories worth repressing
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
