You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
