Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize