Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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