Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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