dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize