I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize