I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
