i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
