just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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