Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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