The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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