I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I look better un-naked...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize