I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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