Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
