so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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