I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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