Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
