You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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