I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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