Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
