did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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