New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
