Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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