Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
