I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
