In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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