no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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