there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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