think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Randomize
