Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Are my feet made of real feet?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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