I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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