I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
