Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
