Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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