When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
try to milk me bitch
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