i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
