Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
