It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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