you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
