so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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