I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize