i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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