I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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