Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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