It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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