he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
