I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
