I cannot find my penis.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
