I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize