I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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