I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
