I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
