thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize