I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think pants incapable of making pants work
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
