Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
