super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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